Monday, July 21, 2008

Heart.

Konnichiwa from Nihon!

The hospitality of the church here, Toyohashi Hosanna Christ Church, has been amazing. There's no other way to describe it. They're so excited to talk to us, hang out with us, goof off with us...If I had a prayer request for the whole trip though, it would be:

Lord, take us deeper.

Take the relationships You are building way deeper. Take us all closer to the heart of God. Let us, the nine of us on this team, serve You by standing alongside this church, joining in with their struggle to go further to heart of God. Make us, the Japan Team, ready; make Your bride here ready. And let us see Your glory.

As soon as I landed, I had six hours to kill by myself in the Nagoya airport, and all I could think about was one of the last memory verses we learned, Jeremiah 32:17 - "Ah, Sovereign Lord, you have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too hard for You." And how true that is. All we need to see is the smallest glimpse of His glory here in Toyohashi, and this whole community would be transformed.

Please God. We're desperate for You. Hungry for You. Thirsty for You. And Your promise is that, in You, there is the fountain of living water, that would make it so we would never thirst again. Please, Lord. Let us all drink from it.

Friday, July 11, 2008

Self-Reliance

I think one of the biggest lies that we face as human beings is the lie that we can, somehow, be self-reliant. I, myself, believed this for a very long time. In fact, when I was in the sixth grade, I read Ralph Waldo Emerson's essay Self-Reliance and thought to myself, this is brilliant. "Nothing can bring you peace but yourself. Nothing can bring you peace but the triumph of principles." To my sixth grade mind, this was the apex of human thought. You pare away everything, are left with just yourself, and you realize that's all you need. After reading Henry David Thoreau, Emerson's Disciple, and his experiences at Walden Pond, I thought two things:

1) I should really get a name that requires writing the middle name every time (Steven Danger Choi was a serious contender.)
2) I want to live in the Yukon.

One of those statements I was really serious about. I felt that I could easily live by myself, save a bunch of books. It would certainly be the best existence I could conceive; I would live on exactly what I needed, educate myself further, and never waste a moment of my life except on keeping myself alive.

It's taken me all the way to now to realize: that was dumb.

The idea that a man could exist by himself is plausible. But I would quickly submit that that is not true living at all. To live solely dependent on yourself is to shortchange everything, everyone, most of all, yourself and God. It'd be like going from being a human being backwards into being a dog; you would consider that a downgrade, the same way going from being a dog down to a flower would be a downgrade in terms of experience. You experience less, you know less, I think this leads us to be able to say, in the end, you have less. To think that things come from your own fruition, as the work of solely your own hands, is to defraud yourself from the joy of the dependence on the Lord.

I mean, God even warned the Israelites against such foolish thinking. Deuteronomy 8 reads:

11 Be careful that you do not forget the LORD your God, failing to observe his commands, his laws and his decrees that I am giving you this day. 12 Otherwise, when you eat and are satisfied, when you build fine houses and settle down, 13 and when your herds and flocks grow large and your silver and gold increase and all you have is multiplied, 14 then your heart will become proud and you will forget the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery. ... 17 You may say to yourself, "My power and the strength of my hands have produced this wealth for me." 18 But remember the LORD your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth, and so confirms his covenant, which he swore to your forefathers, as it is today.

He warns the Israelites to not begin to think that anything is of their own doing, but urges them to continue to remember that it is all by God's hand. Why is that?

Because it's what's best for them. To know that it's not about you relieves you of the anxiety of performance. It changes the perspective from needing to accomplish to wanting to fulfill. And I think that shift is so powerful. When we're able to let go of that tension of accomplishment, and instead want to do well in the same way a child simply wants to do well in front of a parent:

Well, we're free.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Interim

I have a post that I was working on, but it's not quite coherent, so I'm going to throw this one up here in the meanwhile.

---

Gideon is a lot of times viewed as a dope in the Bible. Here he is, being spoken to by the God of the universe, who clearly pulled the Israelites out of the both bondage and wilderness, and Gideon is still unsure, to the point where he decides to ask God to prove exactly who He is. It's a ridiculous concept, and one that I know a lot of pastors cringe at.

However, I think sometimes, we should be so bold as to ask God exactly what the extent of His power, His word, and His promises are. Isn't anyone else curious just how far God's grace and mercy extends? Is it just for us pious people, who make it out to church every Sunday?

Or is this the kind of God who could save this city, who could save this world, if only we'd be so bold to ask?

Could we, just for once, give God a shot at being God?

Let's see if His word in Psalm 34 holds true:

8 Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good!
Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!
9 Oh, fear the LORD, you his saints,
for those who fear him have no lack!
10 The young lions suffer want and hunger;
but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing.

Friday, July 4, 2008

Food.

When I was fasting for 40 days last year, one of my absolute favorite songs was Matt Redman's I Am Yours. I like to joke that it was because of the line in the bridge, "and if my food is to do Your will, I'm hungry, still hungry." But this song has been a real favorite of mine in terms of sheer concept of praise song for a while. Why? Because it makes the Gospel so clear in it's lyrics.

It begins with an explanation of what God has done (a testimony), where God is the healer and restorer, and has taught the dead how to live. And then, there's the response, the prophecy, of how he's going to live his life now that he has one.

I was thinking about John 4 today. It's one of my favorite books in the Bible. It has profound wisdom, unintentional comedy (Jesus asks the Samaritan woman for water, and when she says she shouldn't give Him any, He goes and says "You should be asking me for water!" Puahahahaha!), a couple of verses from the Memory Verse Hall of Fame (John 13-14, 24)...It's got it all. Three of the verses I was thinking about today were 34, 35, and 36.

34 Jesus said to them, "My food is to do the will of him who sent me and to accomplish his work. 35 Do you not say, 'There are yet four months, then comes the harvest'? Look, I tell you, lift up your eyes, and see that the fields are white for harvest. 36 Already the one who reaps is receiving wages and gathering fruit for eternal life, so that sower and reaper may rejoice together.

If I were to examine my life, I think I could unequivocally say that my food is not to do the will of him who sent me. I'm not even entirely sure what that means. I mean, I understand the concept of the Word of the Lord being our daily bread, but what does it mean that our food is to fulfill the call of God in our lives? What would that look like? If I were to live in such a way as to go out into the harvest field and start gathering fruit, what would I be doing differently?

I don't think this necessarily means I immediately pack my stuff and head out into missions. But, I think it does cause some exhortation into the prophecies that have been placed over my life. And, you know what, that just might mean that I'm to be headed out into the missions field. But that's not the point.

The point is: Whatever that call is, do I do it joyfully, without a second thought? Do I want to be a Jonah, who tugs and fights the whole way, and fulfills the call as minimally as possible? Do I want to be like Gideon, filled with doubt the whole way?

Or do I want to be Isaiah, saying, "Wait a second, God. Here I am, Lord. Send me! Send me!"

Am I too attached to things here to be ready to drop them at the sound of the call?

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Elaboration.

I think my last post warrants me elaborating a bit. Here's what happened:

The missions team had been in Pennsylvania at AMI Revolution for three days at this point. Everyone had been short on sleep in the past few days, and I myself had gotten three hours each night due to various things coming up. By the time we finished the hour long car ride out from Center City, Philadelphia into the vast and strange openness of Downington, I'm pretty sure there were only two people who actually wanted to be there in the car: me and David.

Also to note: We were going to the Creasys' house, as they had invited us over to feed us and pray for us while we were there. Aside from the fact that Clinton is one of my favorite people in the world, me and Dave have a pretty nice relationship with the whole Creasy family, as we've met them several times, and even had the opportunity to lead worship for their first leadership retreat when they planted their (then) new church, Providence Church in West Chester. Let me tell you, it's something else to be around Mama Creasy and Papa Creasy. It's incredibly encouraging to see two people living for the Lord, serving at the church, loving each other, their kids...And it is something else to be prayed for by them.

As we exited the car, I saw a sight that set my smile from ear to ear: Clint and his father on the grill on their driveway, grilling up burgers for us, ready to welcome all nine of us into their home. And Clint was wearing a random thrift-store t-shirt that looks like it was purchased in the third grade and kept for safe-keeping until he was big enough to wear it, jean cut-offs, and his trademark boatshoes. It's safe to say that I was pretty elated.

Once inside, we were greeted by Moms and two of Clint's friends, Jeremiah and Rachel. I'd also like to say this: I have no idea what the church culture is like at Providence Church, but there must be a Spirit of love like something fierce, because it seemed like everyone in the house was excited to meet us, excited to talk to us, and most of all, excited to pray for us. We even got to see Clint's brother, Lee (and his glorious, glorious mustasche.)

Then, the worship began. Jeremiah was going to lead worship, but this was clearly a free-for-all when it came to who was praying. The Lord was anointing everyone to speak. Rachel, Clint, Clint's mother... And the Spirit of the Lord was clearly there. He settled into the room like a cloud.

But I felt stuck.

I felt weary. I had a million thoughts going through my head. I could feel the divide my heart had created with the Lord. The divide of opposing desires, of opposing idols, of wanting other things, other comforts, before the Lord.

And that's when Clint and Rachel started washing feet.

Clint started by reading the following passage (twice):

3 Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; 4 so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. 5 After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples' feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him.

Okay. Since he read it twice, I'm going to post it twice:

3 Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; 4 so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. 5 After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples' feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him.

How groundbreaking are those three verses? Jesus knew that His Father had put all things under His authority, so He put on the towel on washed their feet.

I had never noticed that before. I had never noticed that incredible conflict of interests, at least, from a human perspective.

And the big kicker, the absolute heart-wrencher, was that He does this for me every moment of every day.

Think about that for a moment. Psalm 113 tells us that the Lord "stoops down to look on the heavens and the earth." And here is that very same God, stooping down every moment, to hear every single prayer, to listen to every single thought, to constantly hold me by the hand...Even as I write this now, my eyes well up with tears.

As Clint prayed for me, he rejoiced to the Lord at our relationship, and how much the Lord has used each of us in one another's lives. There are very few people in the world that I will say that I love with all my heart (my mom, my dad, my sister), but Clinton is definitely one of those few. But all that didn't mean as much as the following sentence he uttered as he was drying my feet and getting ready to move on.

"How beautiful are the feet, Lord. How beautiful are the feet."

Romans 10 says:

14 How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? 15 And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, "How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!"

It was at that moment I realized what my life needed to be spent on. When you are given the knowledge that the Lord of all heaven and earth humbles Himself to serve you, so much so that He suffered to the point of death, even death on a cross, for YOUR SORRY BUTT...how do you not share that? How do you not then desire "beautiful feet?" How does that realization not shake you to the point that you realize there's no way for your human frame to contain it, so you might as well spill it out to everyone around you?

And perhaps my feet had been inadvertently beautiful previously, pretty much by accident. But now, I realize the call: to be intentional, to desire to share it to others. Like Pastor Carl Park spoke to the missions teams regarding the Gospel, "Just put it out there."

That's what I want to do. And that's what I want this blog to be about. Just putting the Gospel out there.

I probably won't ever look at feet the same way again.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

AMI Revolution 2008

Hopefully, the following posts about AMI will read much more like a testimony than anything.

If you were to ask me, "What was the most meaningful thing you heard while at AMI Revolution?" I would respond that it was something along the lines of 1 Kings 19.

11 The LORD said, "Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by."
Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. 12 After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. 13 When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.
Then a voice said to him, "What are you doing here, Elijah?"

There were powerful times of worship, where I felt like the wind of the Holy Spirit would shake the room. There were great speakers, who were laying down the Lord's word with real authority. There were prayer times when I felt like the fire of the Lord was just spreading throughout my body, and I would begin to sweat, even though the room was cold.

But it was a single moment, a single sentence, a single prayer from a friend that did it.

"How beautiful are the feet."

Romans 10 says:

14How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? 15And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, "How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!"

Here's a question: are our feet beautiful or not?

More to come.
I promise I'm going to get a post up here about AMI revolution soon.

In the meantime, here are the sermons from the conference.